


Take Care

by Mr_DeBlob



Category: High Rollers DnD (Web Series)
Genre: #73 Minds of the Multiverse, Conversations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:42:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25475569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_DeBlob/pseuds/Mr_DeBlob
Summary: Lucius has never quite gotten the grasp of how to deal with death. He isn't quite sure he'll ever know how. But a good talk can make things more bearable, at the very least.
Relationships: Qillek "Quill" Ad Khollar/Lucius Virion-Elluin Elenasto
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21
Collections: Juletide 2020





	Take Care

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Elennare](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elennare/gifts).



As Bym’s body floated off into the Astral Void, Lucius couldn’t help but wonder: would he need to do this for one of his friends?

The thought wasn’t unfamiliar to him. After all, two of them had fallen before. It was only natural for his mind to think of what could happen if they didn’t come back.

But even then, there was a chance that they could come back. They had some way, some path given to them that could lead their soul (or Matrix, in Sentry’s case) back to their bodies to fight another day.

Out here, there was no telling what could happen.

Slowly, the gangway closed in front of them, and Bym’s small form drifted further away until the hull obscured the view. Thalia stood still for a few moments before excusing herself quietly, heading to the cockpit to continue their journey.

The party was left quiet after that, stunned by the sudden death of their new companion. Big Cat stretched himself out on an empty couch, his head rested between his paws with a somber expression. It was a couple moments before Nova finally broke the silence.

“I’ll just… double-check that everything’s alright with the engines,” she said. “Doesn’t hurt to be too safe.” With a subdued face, Nova headed down, Sentry casting a look of concern her way.

“You think she’ll be alright?”

Aila sat down with a thump. “She’ll be alright. Just needs a bit of time to herself.” Grabbing a rag, she began to clean the bloodstains off of the Howling Tempest. “For now, we should probably decompress. Reassess things a bit.”

“Of course.” Sentry nodded. “Just… I’ll make sure she isn’t missing anything down there. Might bring her a snack.” She headed to the quarters before any of them could respond.

Aila continued to polish before glancing up at the two men stood in the Lounge still, giving a questioning look at them. Evidently, that seemed to make Quill realize something.

“Ah, I should probably help Thalia with navigation, shouldn’t I? Now that Bym’s...” He swallowed, reluctant to say the next word with a look of guilt on his face. Instead, he looked towards the cockpit nervously. “Guess I’ll… go do that, then.”

With an awkward wave to Lucius and Aila, the elves watched as he retreated to the cockpit. The silence that fell afterward made the air heavy with discomfort. Only the purring of the engines and Big Cat ran underneath the quietude.

“So…” Aila said, “did you need to tell him something?”

The question startled Lucius, confusing him as she continued polishing her weapon.

“What gave you that impression?” he said.

She looked up at him, then glanced to the space in front of him where an outstretched hand was. _His_ outstretched hand. 

“A-ah. I see.” Self-conscious, he let it fall to his side, glancing back towards Aila, who simply raised an eyebrow. “It wasn’t anything important. Really.” He let out a forced chuckle. “Just a… force of habit, I suppose.”

The moment those words left his mouth, he silently cursed himself for giving such an ambiguous answer. Any person would get curious after hearing that.

But thankfully, Aila simply shrugged and turned her focus back on her weapon. She had more things to worry about than unspoken words.

With a small sigh, Lucius sat down across the room, trying to do as Aila suggested and reassess a few things. First things first: figuring out why he had reached towards Quill.

 _Well, that’s not exactly a big mystery, is it?_ It was obvious to him (and probably the rest of the party) that he and Quill cared deeply for each other, and he didn’t want to see the Aarakocra go off looking so worried, so nervous like he usually did. A smile fit him more than a furrowed brow. Or, furrowed feathers, he supposed.

Too many times he had seen Quill hopeless, shaken, vulnerable. Those moments always made Lucius anxious, his mind telling him to do anything to save Quill. He simply couldn’t lose him, not again. Not after he lost him once.

And the thought of losing him forever made him… 

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a tap on his shoulder, and when he opened his eyes, he saw Sentry looking down at him with concern.

“Are you feeling alright?”

“Yes, I’m alright, Sentry. What made you think otherwise?”

She stayed silent as she reached her hand out, wiping away a tear that underneath his left eye.

“Ah… I suppose that would explain it.”

Her eyes filled with worry. “Lucius, if you need someone to talk to, we’re here for you. You know that, right?”

He nodded slowly. “I know, Sentry. I just need a bit of time by myself.” He looked down at the plate of food she held. “Besides, don’t you need to give that to Nova? I’ll be fine. Really.”

She gave a small smile, then turned around to head to engineering. But before she did, Lucius placed a hand on her forearm.

“I’ll...I’ll be ready to talk in the crew quarters once you’ve finished checking up on Nova.”

And with a silent nod of understanding, she stepped away.

-

Lucius sat up on the bed as he heard the sound of clanking metal outside, swinging his legs over the edge of the mattress as Sentry opened the door and stepped inside.

Closing the door, she looked at Lucius expectantly, waiting for him to speak.

He opened his mouth, but closed it again as no words came out. Of course he lost his words after spending half an hour trying to compose his thoughts. Taking a deep breath, he tried to relax himself. Then, he spoke.

“How are you supposed to deal with death?”

Lucius could see Sentry get surprised at the question, but he didn’t wait for her to answer before elaborating more.

“How do you… how can you make yourself feel better after someone you care for dies? How can you push yourself forward even after losing someone he means so much to you, knowing you can never see them again?”

He watched as the Guardian took in his words, her face shifting as she tried to put together an answer for him.

“Back when I was in Solwynn, the princess I guarded and cared for… she was everything to me.” Her eyes glowed a bit brighter as she began to reminisce. “I spent every waking moment with her, keeping her safe and playing with her, becoming a part of her life just as she was a part of mine. I couldn’t imagine a life without her.”

She paused for a moment.

“Then I lost her. Lost my whole world when I was pulled away from her. Going unconscious and waking up to find out that hundreds of years have passed… It wasn’t exactly an easy thing for me to accept.”

She let out a small laugh. “I know it might be difficult to believe, but during those first few days when I was getting used to this new world, Quill was the one who helped carry me through it all.”

He looked up at her in surprise at that.

“Even though I’m this large and strong Guardian, I wasn’t exactly the most composed when Quill first found me. I was rather… blank then.” Her gaze shifted to the side as she spoke. “Everything felt muted to me, my senses dulled. I was barely able to get myself to stand each time I woke up. But he was able to pull me through all that. Every morning, he would convince me to stand up, to walk with him, to keep moving forward.”

Her voice seemed to grow warmer as she continued. “And soon, I was able to find the world a bit brighter, see a bit more color day by day, and eventually stand on my own. Even though what I loved might be gone now, I know that there are more things out there for me to protect, to cherish. Like all of you!”

Lucius looked up at Sentry in awe. He had never known that side of her. She’d always seemed tough, resilient in her emotions. To know that the cheerful woman in front of him had once gone through such emotional hardship comforted him in a strange way.

“So the answer to getting through it is just… to have the help of other people?”

She tilted her head sideways in thought for a moment. “Yes, I suppose that’s my answer.”

“But what if you don’t have anybody left to help you?”

The words left his mouth before he could think about them. When he looked at Sentry once more, he could see her looking extremely concerned at him.

“Lucius, we’ll _always_ be there to help you.” Her voice was adamant as she said so, and she walked over to him, kneeling down to hug him tightly. “All of us care about you. More than you might ever know. Don’t you ever forget that.”

He sat there, closing his eyes and soaking in these words.

When she finally released, he smiled back at her, his eyes watering at the sudden display of affection. “Thank you, Sentry.” His voice broke a bit as he spoke. “Thank you for… for all of that.”

“Of course.” She stood back up, towering over Lucius as he sat on the bed. “Is there anything else you need from me?”

“No, I’m alright now. I just need a bit of time to rest. Really rest. That fight took a lot out of me.”

With an understanding nod, she went to the door, softly closing it as she stepped out into the hallway.

As for Lucius, he let himself fall back onto the bed, thinking about the words Sentry told him and holding it close to his heart. They care for him, and he cares for them back. They’ll always be there to help him, just as he’ll always be there to help them.

Then he thought about Quill’s face again, of the worry he saw earlier that day, and of the story Sentry had told him.

And he made a plan. A simple one, but a plan.

-

As the door to the room opened and Quill walked in, Lucius could see the exhaustion on his face. The high elf pushed himself off the wall and tapped him on the shoulder from behind, causing him to jump a bit before relaxing.

“Hey,” he said as he walked to the bottom bunk bed.

“How did navigating with Thalia go?”

“It went alright. At least, I think it did.” He sat down on the mattress with a thump, his frame hunching over

“You think?” He leaned on the bed frame with what he hoped was a casual pose.

“I read the maps and all that right, got us through the leg of the trip she planned for today without much incident. But she was pretty quiet during all of it. Barely said anything besides asking for a few directions here and there.” He let out a deep sigh.

“I see…” Lucius kept quiet as he listened to him speak.

“When we finally got to where we planned, she dismissed me without even looking back. I tried to say good night to her, but she just stayed silent.” The same look of worry from before came over him once more. “I think… no, nevermind”

“Do you want to talk about it with me, Birdie?”

Quill looked up at him with tired eyes at that.

“I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but… I’m here and available. And seeing as there’s nothing else to do today…”

He looked down at him, watching the Aarakocra consider the offer. Then, he watched as Quill scooted to the side, patting for Lucius to take a seat next to him.

The blonde did so, and watched as Quill considered his words.

“Thalia… I don’t think she likes me anymore.”

The sentence seemed to shock Lucius’s mind for a moment, stunning him before the Aarakocra continued.

“She seemed really distant. Like she didn’t even want to speak to me. The few times she did look at me, it felt like there was venom in her eyes, as if she wanted me to just go away and not come back.” He laughed bitterly. “I suppose it makes sense, though. I messed up really bad, didn’t I?”

“What, no you-”

“I let Bym die, and I did nothing to stop it. I’m the reason that he got killed. If only I paid attention to him instead of just focusing on Sentry.” His voice frazzled as he continued to speak. “No wonder Thalia hates me. She saw me help Sentry and do nothing for her crewmate. I wouldn’t be surprised if she decided to Brookstone us all because of my awful decisi-”

He couldn’t finish the word as Lucius held him tightly, hugging the man’s body close and firmly.

“You’re not the reason he got killed, Quill.” Lucius tried to hold his voice firm as he spoke. “It was entirely the fault of those Astral pirates. They’re the ones to blame. And you know Thalia doesn’t hate you, or any of us. She’s just… hurt, and grieving. All of us can push people away when we lose somebody we care for.

Lucius’s hug grew tighter around him as he said those words, remembering the days without Quill.

“Thalia just needs time. Time to deal with this, and to accept it. She’s dealt with things like this before in her line of work, and she knows how to move past it. All we need to focus on right now is getting to the place where she wants us to go and helping her with what she needs.”

He hugged even tighter. “So don’t you go putting yourself in danger to try and make it up to her. Don’t pull any huge stunts or sacrifice yourself just so the rest of us can leave. We all need you.”

_I need you._

Lucius could feel a tear running down his face before he felt Quill’s claw on his arm. Looking down, he could see the Aarakocra looking up at him with an expression of shock at the sudden outpouring of affection.

Quickly, he brought his arms back to his side, rubbing the tears away from his face as he tried to recollect himself. “Ah, sorry about all that. I seemed to have gone a bit overboard, didn’t I?” He chuckled with a hitched voice. “But… really, Birdie, you don’t need to keep all that inside to yourself. If you feel like you can’t handle things on your own, I’ll be there to help you. I care about you a lot, you know?”

He smiled at Quill as the Aarakocra gave a soft smile back.

“I’m… I’m glad to know that, Lucius. Glad to know that you care about me as much as you do. And thank you for saying all of that to me. I really needed something like that today.” The high elf felt warmth in his heart hearing him, but he couldn’t help but notice that his gaze seemed to drift far off as well.

Concerned, he asked, “Is there something else you need to talk about?”

Quill spoke with a start. “Oh, well it’s nothing too important really, just… it’s… quite a lot to take in, you know. That you feel that way.”

It was at that moment that Lucius realized he had said I instead of We in the last part of his reassurances.

“Y-yes! I really care about you a lot! All of us do, you know?” His voice pitched high as he began to explain away what had happened. “You know that when I say ‘I,’ the rest of the party’s included in that as well. In fact, it was Sentry who asked me to do all this, you know!” Lucius could feel his face start to redden as he spoke.

“Actually, I’m feeling a bit tired right now, so I suppose we should both go to sleep. It’s been a long day, hasn’t it, Birdie?” He let out very forced laughter as he climbed onto the top bunk, smothering his face into the pillow as he hauled his body upwards.

“Now, let’s sleep, why don’t we?” he said with a muffled voice. “G-good night! Don’t let the Astral bedbuggies bite!”

The sound of a (supposedly) sleeping Lucius filled the room soon after that, the elf’s face flushed and his heart racing as he lay on the mattress. But the Aarakocra underneath him smiled at the words he had heard moments before, a thought passing through his mind as he drifted off into restful sleep.

_I care about you, too, Lucius. As much as you care about me. I know you'll never forget that.  
_


End file.
